My “stroke” story is more accurately a story about a stroke as well as dementia – my stroke and my wife’s dementia. It’s difficult for me to separate them. Oh yes, it’s now 2 1/2 years since I had my stroke.

I had my stroke on Saturday 16th March 2019 at about 9pm. I was getting ready to watch Match of the Day on TV and was fully expecting Southampton to lose! I had made coffee for us both and was carrying the cups up to the first floor (we live in a town house with two sets of stairs). I thought I stumbled at the top of the stair – but for whatever reason the cups of coffee went flying. All I could think of was the coffee staining the walls, woodwork and carpet. I was so cross. So cross that I didn’t notice the weakening in my right arm and leg!

I got some old towels, kitchen roll and a bucket of warm water and rushed back up the stairs and set about repairing some of the damage. How strange, the water in the bucket was now cold. Well the water was certainly cold when touched by my right hand! However, when my left hand touched the water it was warm again. What is this magic? Alarm bells were rapidly changing from a little tinker bell to the full Big Ben.

Of course I’ve read the FAST stroke leaflets in our surgery and so am aware of strokes, particularly the need for speedy action. The right side of my body just felt wrong. So I dialled 999 and within 5 minutes an ambulance was outside. The paramedics did their checks and decided they needed to take me to the hospital.

Now the observant among you will remember I said this was also about my wife’s dementia. It’s worth noting that she was about 3 weeks away from a formal diagnosis of moderate to severe dementia. Having watched the deterioration through the previous 3 years the final diagnosis came as little surprise.

Well, as my wife’s main carer, I couldn’t leave her at home alone and clearly I was in no state to be making rational decisions or to seek help. Still we’d soon be home? My daughter, who lives close by, had gone on holiday earlier that day; wouldn’t you just know it!

The hospital was super efficient and following a scan a ‘bleed’ on my brain was diagnosed. Well thanks for letting me know; can I go home now? No chance! But of course my wife is still with me. It’s now about 11pm and I’m in bed receiving all sorts of tests; my wife sits beside me sleeping in the chair. No one seems to notice or bother with her. I feel so stressed. Fortunately I had taken my mobile with me and was finally able to contact my daughter (first night on holiday). She was about 60 miles away but readily agreed to drive back and rescue Mum. She arrived at about 1am. I felt a huge sense of relief, gratitude and for the first time I was able to relax and study my predicament. I’m sure my wife would have been cared for better during the day time?

I was in hospital for 10 days having been convinced I’d be out the next day. On the second day I started having a bit of trouble forming my sentences and began dragging my right foot. However, and with the help of the dedicated staff, all these things improved. They put the cause of the stroke down to a ‘spike’ in my blood pressure. Not surprising considering how the Saints were playing at the time! Now, 2 1/2 years later I’m maybe 96% recovered with just some weird sensations down my right side. For example my leg feels permanently cold yet my foot feels hot; what’s that all about?

I started going to the Different Stroke meetings, when able, and it was like joining a group of old friends; I immediately felt welcomed. To a greater or lesser extent we all knew what each was going through. Some truly kind and inspirational people.

Oh yes, I never mentioned how old I was when I had my stroke. In my head I’m still 25 years old and guess that’s why I feel so comfortable with Different Strokes. I was 72 when I had my stroke! I still care for my dear wife, the difference is that I now have a complete set of contacts to hand!